Your Existence is just like a wind,
whispered through my body.
Everywhere I'll go, you'll be here with me.
Your Existence is just like a life,
You'll be always there until my last breathe.
It was Friday noon in September, I was flying from Ngurah Rai international airport. I walked through domestic arrival gate. I was standing in front of baggage claim waiting for my baggage, it was not coming, I waited until the last baggage come, but still, it was not mine. Yes, I lost my favorite green backpack. While looking for a help, suddenly my phone rang. I picked it up.
" Hey, I'm still stuck here, baggage claiming, I lost my bag, wait a second. " I said to someone through phone.
I was travelling to Lombok Island from Yogyakarta is where the place I took my study there. I wore black but I was not sad that time. Actually, I was happy that day. I was sitting in the airline oﬃce, claiming my bag then suddenly I was surprised when someone called my name properly. I could not reach that voice all over again. I was trying so hard to realise that he is no longer mine.
" Hi Vianni, how are you? " This guy called Calvin.
I was on long distance relationship with him, it takes 2.5 hours ﬂight from home, we were separate by oceans, living in a diﬀerent country is harder than I thought before, back and forth or meet halfway, Every our Hello and Goodbyes was just to hard for us.
" can you just ask the airline to send your bag to the resort?”
" Yes, of course.. “
I was on a short vacation with him, a long trip, it was 412.7 miles away by ﬂight from home and it took 2.5 hours ﬂight with a transit. For a long 4 months, I have been waiting for this moment. I could see his face, put a smile on it, I could hear his laugh, and the best thing is he could feel my presence in person. I was so happy that day.
We were walking through the gate to the arrival hall with a ﬂower bouquet in my right hand. It was not for me, I was propining him. We were walking hand in hand and I was asking him, what he said to the guard so he could enter the domestic arrival. I could not remember what he said to the guard, but he did it. Here they are, Emi's friends, we were on vacation with his colleague and girlfriend. It was my ﬁrst time meeting his colleague girlfriend.
Our ﬁrst day went well, heading to the resort at Senggigi was the one of the best part that I could not forget. I'm talking about sitting next to him. We were having local cuisine called ayam taliwang and plecing kangkung by the beach. He was taking my picture while we gazed to the sunsets. After having our quick meals we decided to went out for movies while waiting for my bag. We went to the nearest cinema which is 25 km far away from the resort. We watched IT movie and we were falling asleep during the movie, for sure, we don't have any idea about the clown and it was a funny midnight ever on our date.
He woke up earlier in the morning. I opened my eyes slowly while he kissed my lips, that moment is the moment that I would not call it as my morning routine. It was the happiest morning in september 2017, I could see his morning face and stare his eyes. He was the most patience guy I have ever met, he was never complaining when I took 1.5 hours for getting ready. Once I got ready, then it was his turn to said sorry to his friends for my late. After that just like others, we had our heavy happy breakfast. He was queuing for my omelette for 20 minutes, I told you, he was the most patience guy I have ever met. Four of us was chilling at the pool, we shared our laughs and stories while he carried me. I was thinking about us, I don't know how to express what I've been thinking all this time.
I whispered in a silence " Honestly, I want to be with you. I love you. Yes I do. But, there is no point about being together. I could see it in your eyes, how sadness haunt you all this time. I feel hurt knowing I am not there with you. ". I understood why he should called our relationship oﬀ. But it was feel so good missing him like this. I was smiling while stared at him and ask him to race, I lose.
After having delicious lunch at RM Taliwang Nada, we decided to went to karaoke. For the very ﬁrst time I could hear him singing, I cannot wait. The most happiest moment when we were rapping together to Linkin Park song In The End while our friends were falling asleep in the karaoke room. It feels like the world belongs to both of us.
The clock shows the beach time, we had a casual talks while down the road at the seashore. The wave was ebbing perfectly. I gazed into the sunsets while he took my pictures. I was wondering, it looks so beautiful, but why I feel so hurt, I was hurting because I could not be there to see how beautiful you are everyday, oh, dear my sunsets. I chanced upon a beautiful cosmos during my walk through the garden, it was his smiley face while dancing and kissing with me under the ﬁreworks. A couple of eyes was watching at us, I saw them smile at us, I was smiling back, for sure they knew what I feel that night. It was super wonderful night ever like suddenly I want to be the night who could be with him, always.