Unconditional

 

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How it all started

 I was always sad, I was always so pessimistic, but most of all I was always lonely. Being the principal’s daughter gave me some perks such as being allowed to stay in the office while others weren’t. One awfully simple day, I was sitting in the office pitying myself when this girl went up to me then said “you’re Mary right?” Surprised I said “how do you know my name!?”, “our moms work together”, “who is your mom exactly?”I asked, “Teacher Michelle” after she said that it all made sense, I mean like I knew my mom was working with Teacher Michelle but I didn’t know she had a daughter. “So what’s your name?”, “call me Abi”. Abi and I became best friends very quickly, every day I would sit with her at lunch even if she was two levels higher than me, because at the time I was in 3rd grade and she was in the 5th grade. Everyday I spent time with Abi and no one else. Slowly, I started to get to know Abi’s friends the first one I met was Miya she was really cool and kind, Miya and I became friends quickly too. As I was getting to know Abi’s friends I met this one guy, his name was Ray he was really sporty,  really good-looking, and always cussed, I didn’t really mind him at first, I really didn’t care if he was there or not, and I didn’t really care to know more about him. It was an awfully normal Monday when I had to take a pee-break in the middle of computer class, I made my way to the bathroom when I saw 3 boys arguing, now me being the nosy person I am, I went up to them, as I was walking towards them I saw a familiar face, and it was non-other than Ray. They were arguing.......like allot, so I decided to step in, I started by saying “stop it now!”, after I said that they looked as puzzled as ever. “Oh!, you’re that girl that Abi is always with, Mary right?” Ray said. “Ya I am, so what’s going on? I’ll be sure to report the person who is at fault here” I said proudly. “Him!?” Ray said. “Why?” I asked. “He’s the one who started it first” Ray said. “Oh ok then” I said, “thank you!” he said. In the end I wasn’t able to go get a pee break, but instead I got something even better.

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Nathy Gaffney

Hi Josette. I like the way you tell most of the story via the dialogue. I can hear their voices clearly, and it creates a good visual for me. Suggest you tweak the formatting so that you create paragraphs. It will make your story much easier to read. Best of Luck. Nathy

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